und noch ein schöner einakter, natürlich vom feinen Fiver:

SOMEBODY'S NOT STICKING TO THE SCRIPT

Scene: Every summer, somewhere in north London, for as long as anyone cares to remember.

Big foreign club: [Strides in with a swagger] We want to sign Patrick Vieira. Arsenal: Eh, no, thanks all the same. Patrick Vieira: I love Arsenal. [Eye a-twinkling] I never want to leave. Big foreign club: [Waves grotesque amount of money around] We want to sign Patrick Vieira. Arsenal: [Eyes lingering on the cash] No. We are not in the business of selling our best players. Patrick Vieira: Come on now, let's not be too hasty. [Exit stage right] Big foreign club: [Hops, skips and jumps into a press conference] We are going to sign Patrick Vieira. A deal is imminent. Arsenal: [Light coughing] Arsenal: [Tumbleweed enters stage left, blows across stage, exits stage right] Patrick Vieira: Ahem, Arsenal, this is where you're supposed to shout a lusty Hollywood 'no', lock me in a room and offer me the riches of Cibola and a brand new Seat Ibiza. Arsenal: Patrick Vieira: Remember? You do that, I go and have a think about it, decide I still want to move, and then change my mind at the 11th hour when it turns out I can't squeeze as much out of them as I can out of you. It's the whole climax of the show. Think of the fans! Arsenal: Big foreign club suit, quite possibly Juventus general director Luciano Moggi: We are on the verge of signing him. [Counting out GBP12m in crisp new notes] The deal should be completed this afternoon. Arsenal: Patrick Vieira: Wha-? But? Eh? Arsenal: [To themselves] Hmm, Lyon's Mahamadou Diarra might be worth a look, even though he's just sign a new contract. A snip at GBP10m, too. Patrick Vieira: [As gleeful Juventus suits shepherd him towards door] This isn't how it's supposed to be! [Ponders a trademark drop-to-the-floor-like-a-wounded-gazelle for effect] GBP82,000-a-week for the next five years, you say? I'll get my coat.